“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
~ Marianne Williamson
So why does shining your light brightly and fully matter? Well, it doesn’t matter if you a completely materialistic person who doesn’t believe there is a greater purpose in life beyond making money so you can buy more stuff.
But if you are a spiritually conscious person on a path of awakening, it does matter, because that light is the light of your love, your love for yourself, your love for humanity, your love for the planet. It was a few years ago that I was drinking ayahuasca in a very special place, under very special circumstances whereby the spirits of that sacred land I had been communing with for 7 years saw fit to finally introduce me to the Caretaker of that land, and I had to honor of serving him ayahuasca.
I often find myself asking Spirit business questions in the visionary state, because, you know, maybe I’ll come up with that breakthrough business idea. And in that journey I received the message.
And so the light that you shine is not the light of your intellectual brilliance, though there may be nuances of this. It’s not the light of your talents and skills, though there may be sparkles of this. This light that you shine none other than your ability to become a pure channel for love.
You feel it in here. And other people feel it from here. And it’s such a magnetic, and powerful force that it will inevitably draw the right people, opportunities, and circumstances to you, so that you experience the love, joy, and abundance that is your birthright.
So, what does it take to shine your light even brighter than ever? Well you need to take these 3 powerful steps.
1. Cultivate Self-awareness
Know who you are, what you want, and what you offer. This clarity is like a crystal that amplifies your vibration, and creates charisma and trust. It will also attract a lot of people, clear and powerful people, confused and troubled people, so you need to also maintain good boundaries and have discernment over who enters your field as their energy will also impact your life, for good or not so good.
2. Let Go of People Who Try To Dim Your Light
Who are such people? These are people who:
- Shame, blame, make you wrong or judge you
- Put you in your place, or tell you to “tone it down a bit”
- Make you feel bad for for who you are, how you live, or the choices you make
- Those who wish to call you out or reflect your ugly…& it’s inappropriate for them to do so.
- Feel compelled to tell you how to think, feel, or behave in your own domain (like on your Facebook wall)
What about people who want to give you feedback for “your own good”? That’s can be tricky. But here’s a good way to discern who has the “right” to give you feedback, and who really needs to STFU. Here’s a great flow chart by product designer Kim Goodwin about the phenomenon known as “Mansplaining” (but it can be applied to unsolicited advice in general).
- Did you ASK for feedback? If not, then it’s unsolicited advice, and unsolicited advice tends to be super annoying.
- Are they your coach or therapist? If so, well you are paying them to transform, so you may want to heed that person’s advice.
- Are they your customer? And is it related to the service they are paying you for? If so, definitely listen, because you have a financial relationship with that person.
- Are they a friend you’ve known for a long time, who genuinely cares for your best interests, who sees you repeating a pattern that is hurting you or preventing you from having that which you deeply desire? Pay attention, because the person loves you, wants the best for you, AND has a long history with you where they’ve witnessed your struggles and triumphs.
- Are they someone on your email list who has never bought anything from you? It depends. If they are telling you a link is broken, or your system sent out duplicate emails, yes, thank them for the bug report. If they are criticizing your content, unsubscribe them.
- Are they a new friend? If they are a new friend, that person hasn’t known you long enough, IMO any type of negative feedback at that stage is a lot more like a judgement that may be well worth ignoring, and that friendship worth evaluating. Because friendships require nurture, and too much criticism, negativity or calling a person out will strain the friendship. If that friendship hasn’t had enough time and shared experiences to root and blossom, this kind of strain can totally kill a newly budding friendship.
- Is it someone you met from online dating? If this is a Tinder date, run, far, far away, quickly. Get up, graciously excuse yourself and leave. That’s because negging is a subtle control dynamic that can trigger powerful craving for approval in the person whose self-confidence is being slowly undermined over time. Here are 7 signs you are being negged, and if you want some comic relief after a disturbing date, check out Bye Felipe on Insta.
3. Fill Your World with Soul-aligned Tribe
If you are the keeper of a big vision and co-creator of a Greater Good, you MUST fill your world with soul-aligned tribe, specifically soul-aligned people who REFLECT your beauty rather than your UGLY.
The world is full of darkness. There is far too much unnecessary violence in this world. Especially unnecessary emotional violence.
I come from a culture where criticism, public shaming and punishment is considered to be an expression of love. My mom used to say, “Only those who truly love you will have the honesty to tell you what’s wrong with you.”
What we know now from child psychology is that this kind of emotional abuse creates trauma. This trauma is passed down through ancestral lineages, until one person choose to no longer continue the cycle.
Receiving endless negativity and threats, with little praise or encouragement, did not make me a better, happier, more balanced person. Instead I was a suicidal teenager who struggled with self-hatred for a good 20 years until I began deep soul-healing work with sacred plant medicines. Psychedelics truly saved my life.
The world does not need more shame, blame, and make wrong. If someone wants to reflect your ugly, ask yourself, Why? And assess your relationship with that person. Do you want this relationship?
There’s nothing more painful than to have to push someone you love to the outer orbit of your life, or even out of it completely. Especially a parent. But when faced with a choice of choosing a toxic relationship over choosing yourself, I say, ALWAYS CHOOSE YOURSELF.
Because the toxicity will drain you. It will drain your joy. It will drain your creativity. It will drain your productivity. It will chip away at your self-worth. It might even, over time, make you want to die.
And it may not be them, it may be your particular relationship dynamic. Two people’s personalities, ways of communicating, beliefs or seeing the world simply clashing.
You will know if the relationship is toxic if:
- Spending time with the person it makes you feel bad or energetically drained.
- It takes you hours, days, or months to recover from the encounter, even after the person is gone.
- That mindfuck feeling. WTH just happened? Am I messed up, is he messed up, was that messed up?
- You are always the one doing something wrong, or the one that has the big problem that’s getting in the way of [FILL IN THE BLANK]
- Energetic directionality is 1 way. So the relationship requires more of your attention. More of your positive input. More love and caring from your side. More apologies from your side. And you are not getting replenished by positive energy from their end.
- You feel worse about yourself after your time with them is over.
So the best thing you can do is create distance.
And still love them, and have compassion for them, because how they are with others is a reflection of how much they truly love themselves.
As a Creator with a Sacred Purpose, you have limited, time energy and resources, and anyone in your world who is not fully aligned with your values, mission, vision and vibration will create a drag on your momentum.
Those people who are on fire and mission aligned, will lift you up, and keep you energized. Those people whose presence makes you feel a “full-body ecstatic YES!” Those people will AMPLIFY your light.
These are the people you want to keep close to you, who deserve a place in the inner orbit of your star. Because when you collaborate with them, you will make magic and money. And more importantly, the love you receive from your Soul Tribe will carry you when the going gets tough and the shit hits the fan.
And simply by releasing those people who aren’t aligned, you will create space for those amazing beings who are. The pull of your light will draw them towards you, and before you know it, you find yourself surrounded by amazing community. And this will make you celebrate being alive, because you get to run around, play, create, and share love with so many luminous, delightful beings. And this leads to a life of absolutely no regrets.
These 3 steps I shared are actions that will typically require some recalibration once in a while, at least annually, if not each season.
That’s it for now. I want to close this session with lyrics from a medicine song that I love, called Ancestor Messenger
Ancestor Messenger, medicina carrier
Flame bearer, bright star
Child in the area
Shine your divine light
Pray, praising creator
Remember your purpose in life
and what you came here for
what your aiming for
Spread your wings and soar
to the other shore
Paradise life’s pure, birthright safe and secure
P.S. If you want to learn my best strategies for filling your world with amazing, loving, on-purpose people who celebrate YOUR light, evangelize your work, and buy YOUR stuff, I invite you to join my Facebook group, the Art of Tribe Building.
Photo by Arthur Ogleznev on Unsplash